In my work as Ombuds, I see many people with many issues. Often, they are upset about things that have happened to them, and can easily catalog every perceived slight and injustice that has been done to them. But when asked what they would like next, quite frequently people get flummoxed, not sure exactly what they want.
But, and I’ll try to say this in a way that sounds as unsmug as possible, if someone doesn’t know what they want, they are virtually assured to not get it.
How, though, do we know what we want, and how can we communicate that? For the past few weeks, I’ve been inspired by an Aquabats song. Having been to two Aquabats concerts in the last year, I can speak to how much wholesome fun they are for all (pizza races included), but I must confess that I never imagined that their music would somehow fuel a discussion of how people can better resolve their conflicts.
Yet here we are, and if I’m honest with you I will say that using an Aquabats song as a framing device for a column probably doesn’t crack my top 100 list of things I’ve done (or have been done to me) recently that I never could have expected. Still, as Dalton would tell us in Rule 1B, “expect the unexpected.” Given that I’ve been signing my columns off with that pithy reminder since I started, you know that I have long taken it to heart.
The song is called “The Shark Fighter!” (No, it’s not that I’m really excited to tell you; the title ends with an exclamation point.) Can you guess what it is about? I know some lyrics are cryptic, even opaque, but like its subject, this song is absolutely straightforward and confident. The first verse starts:
“I’m a shark fighter, I fight sharks
I fight ’em in the water
‘Cause that’s where they are
When I smell blood, I come running
Then I put ’em in a shark cage.”
Is it scientifically possible to have a greater clarity of purpose than that? The man is a shark fighter. What does he do? He fights sharks. Where does he do it? In the water. Why there? Because that’s where they are.
Parenthetically, I must note that this crystal-clear level of focus is common to the Aquabats’ catalog. “The Cat with Two Heads!” is, you guessed it, about a bicephalic feline. “Attacked by Snakes!” details a reptilian assault. When so many people don’t say what they mean or mean what they say, there is something refreshing about a band that is this unambiguous.
Back our friend the Shark Fighter. If you’re still uncertain about who he is or what he stands for, the chorus is a reminder:
“(This rhyme tells the story of the)
Shark fighter
Toughest man in the sea
Shark fighter
With his wavy blonde hair flowing so freely”
So we know who he is and what he does. But why does he do it? The second verse reveals all:
“I had a girl who was precious to me
But a shark took her away, you see
Now I fight sharks not for money
But for love (and that ain’t funny yo!)
And here’s why
I will avenge my lady with my life
Or until I die in a fight
Against the underwater army of the night
This rhyme tells the story of the—”
In less than two minutes, we know exactly who the Shark Fighter is, what he does, and why he does it. Is your elevator speech that concise and informative?
In all seriousness, there is a lot we all can learn from the Shark Fighter. His single-minded focus on fighting sharks defines him, with another lyric relating that “his only goal is a shark casserole/his only creed is to make sharks bleed.” He knows what’s going to fulfill him (fighting sharks) and what won’t (presumably, everything else). Someone like that Shark Fighter, who knows what they want, has a good chance of being happy.
Let’s contrast the Shark Fighter with your average person who can’t articulate who, at their core, they are, or what they really want. Unlike him, they founder in confusion, not quite sure of what they want, but positive they aren’t happy with what they have.
But how can we gain a Shark Fighter-eqsue clarity? If the Aquabats aren’t available to write a theme song for you, perhaps you can do it yourself. Just think of what you would answer if someone asked “Who are you? What do you do? Why do you do it? What is your goal?” Writing your responses out, in prose or verse form, might help you gain a new measure of clarity.
What gets me about the Shark Fighter is that he isn’t that concerned about actually winning in his war against the underwater army of the night; it’s enough just to continue putting up the good fight and that he gives us his life in the struggle. While this might not be the most aspirational goal, in many ways it’s a positive one, because it only relies on variables within the Shark Fighter’s control. He can decide to continue to fight sharks or not, while he can’t really control how many sharks there are in the world, or how assiduously they fight back. Though he’s working through the heartbreak of having his precious girl taken from him by a shark, if he sticks to his path of vengeance and is energized just by making sharks bleed, he’s going to be happy.
In the broader perspective, perhaps I’m using a silly example to make a serious point: when we clearly understand who we are and what we want (and we have a good reason for it), we have a much better chance of getting what we want. Even better, if your goal is one that you control completely, the path to meeting it is that much straighter. Of course, the problem is that many of our wants (if not always our needs) are out of control…but that’s a discussion for another day.
So until next time, expect the unexpected, stay informed, and I’ll stay informal.
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