Mouse obit in the Press

My father wrote for the Atlantic City Press when I was growing up (which probably explains my friendliness for the media). As a child, I believed that the Press was one of the finest and most significant newspapers in the country. I think I actually thought that the Sunday morning show “Meet the Press” had something to do with our hometown newspaper. Later, of course, I learned that “press” was a generic term and that “The Press” was basically an average small-town paper, no better and no worse. Still, I’ve kept what you might call a sentimental interest in the paper over the years.

Not getting the print edition, I don’t know what the deal is with this story, but I’m guessing it’s either an inside joke or something written by a kid:

Mouse, Morris the, 2, of Linwood, died Feb. 12 quietly at home of the natural causes that accompany old age.

Morris was born at a small northern New Jersey company that breeds mice for laboratory use and for feeding other animals. He counted among his good fortunes in life that he remained with his fellow lab and feeder mice the few months needed to reach maturity and mate.

Morris and a few dozen of his relatives and friends were sold to a Morris County pet store, and from there he was selected by a family to feed its young pet python.

The life of Morris would have ended there, as it has for millions of his peers, had it not been for a bit of very good luck: The python died before it could eat him.

Some say that Morris had a paw in the snake’s demise, but this is likely a tall tale.

Two boys from the family were told to take Morris and let him loose outdoors. Since they lived in a city, the most suitable habitat they could find was a square of open ground in the sidewalk with a small tree and a thick planting of flowering grasses.

As an albino and lifelong captive, Morris would not have survived long on a city street. Luckily his release was watched by a woman in a shop about 10 feet away.

She poked the grass to get a better look and started pointing the white mouse out to passers-by. They looked briefly and moved on. All but one, who called over the rest of her vacationing family, got them to capture Morris and put him back in the pet-shop box the boys had discarded on the ground.

From then on Morris enjoyed the life of a pampered pet in suburbia in an enclosure with an exercise machine and a penthouse suite. His mouse food was supplemented with a steady stream of treats. He was particularly fond of yogurt chips, nuts and dried fruits.

Morris surprised his benefactors with his level of interaction, jumping up to greet them and singing to them in a weird squeaky voice. He put a face on their knowledge that humans and mice are genetically about 99 percent similar. This was especially true when Morris showed them something they had never seen before: a mouse in old age.

In his final months, Morris stopped grooming himself carefully and had a disheveled look. His hair thinned, his posture became hunched, and he scaled back his exercising. He got out of breath easily when climbing.

He started falling asleep in odd places and positions (instead of his hidden nest), sometimes right where he had been eating. He made his benefactors wonder just how much of their own lives is determined by their animal nature and instincts.

Morris is survived by several hundred second through sixth generation offspring, and tens of thousands of seventh and eighth generation descendants.

He was predeceased by several thousand others who gave their lives for the improvement of human science and the vanity of human dominion over its fellow animals.

Private services were held Friday in Linwood. Donations in his memory may be made to the animal-friendly organization of your choice.

Here’s to a very, very fine mouse

I offer this as an enigma that maybe you, the reader, can unravel. I just find it funny that, in the online medium, this story is weighted equally with the latest Flyers debacle and the Iran nuclear crisis. The wonders of the Internet never cease.

Speaking of how wonderful the Internet is, I probably won’t be posting for the rest of the week. I’m going to be down at the Venetian chairing a conference called Casino Marketing: Player Loyalty Programs:

Join industry leaders in the Casino and Gaming Industry as they discuss the impact of new technologies on Player Loyalty programs. Expanding business and accelerating growth through joint marketing campaigns, promotions, co-branding, and sponsorships will also be discussed. This forum will provide the necessary information to launch a player loyalty program, or increase reach of an existing program through insightful discussions from seasoned industry pros.

Don’t miss this opportunity to network with some of Gaming’s brightest and most dynamic in casino marketing, player loyalty platforms, new technologies, and sponsorships.

So when I come back, I’ll be chock full of knowledge about incentive bonusing, data warehousing, and CRM, which I’ve already learned is not similar to CRS. As always, my education continues.

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