I borrowed the title from Philip K. Dick (don’t worry–I’ll return it when I’m done), because it completely suits this story. If you’ve got the money, an “ailibi service company” will gladly help you lie to those who trust and love you. From the Las Vegas Sun:
Mary is married, and Mary is having an affair. The Chicago wife told her husband she was sightseeing in Los Angeles last August, but that was a lie. Mary and her boyfriend were vacationing in Las Vegas, and Mary paid a professional cover-up company $350 to ensure her husband would never find out.
He didn’t. The Alibi Network, an Illinois company that specializes in its namesake – alibis – armed Mary with a fake airplane itinerary, fake hotel reservations and a fake hotel answering service; when her husband phoned Mary’s fake room in Los Angeles, the call was routed to her real cell phone in Las Vegas. Three months later, Mary doesn’t want her name printed in the paper. She’s planning on using the Alibi Network again.
“I needed to get away,” she said. “I set something up.”
Mary isn’t the only person whose tracks, covered for a cost, lead to Las Vegas. Michael DeMarco, the Alibi Network’s vice president of marketing, says Las Vegas is a top destination for company clientele, who come to gamble in secret and “get their groove on.”
It’s only natural, DeMarco says, in a city where what happens, stays.
“I think the appeal for Vegas is its reputation,” he says, trailing off. “It’s warm; it’s relatively clean.”
Costs for cover-ups range anywhere from $75 for a temporary untraceable phone number to $1,500 for a “full-blown alibi,” DeMarco says. It’s not a service you want to scrimp on.
“If I’m going to pay a liar,” DeMarco says, “I want the best one.”
I just couldn’t believe that this was for real. So I check the Museum of Hoaxes and, yes, it’s real.
That’s not all. There’s a website for the company: Alibi Network. Here’s the funny thing: in addition to getting them to lie for you, you can buy T-shirts, including this one:
I’ve got to think that wearing a shirt that says “Alibi Your Reality” might tip your hand–people around you will probably start getting suspicious. (Great shirt design, by the way–the slogan was absolutely NOT just photoshopped onto an existing image. I completely trust the Alibi Network.)
That aside, I’d love to bring this shirt to a theologians’ conference, toss it inside, and then listen to the firestorm of theorizing that will inevitably ensue. If all one’s sins are covered, can one truly choose between good or evil? Does one have freewill?
What I like best about the company is how they’re turned something like deception into a solid business–a sad commentary on where we’re at today. All that said, I’ve got to think that they get plenty of business from this town.