A great headline

You can’t not love this AC Press headline:

It’s church vs. state in Lower Twp. vulture war

There’s actually a story behind it:

The Rev. Robert Forbes takes the pulpit here at St. John of God Church to warn his parishioners about all kinds of problems in the world, but his latest concern is a tad unusual.

It’s not the evils of drink, the devil, infidelity or impure thoughts. During twice-daily Mass Monday through Friday — and four on weekends — Forbes is warning his parishioners about the state Department of Environmental Protection and a flock of
turkey vultures.

Forbes isn’t exactly crazy about these vultures.

“I’m sure they look good to other turkey vultures, but they’ve got to be one of the ugliest birds God ever made,” Forbes said.

The birds may perform the useful service of cleaning up roadkill along Town Bank Road, but unfortunately for Forbes they also tend to fly around near church property.

The problem is, the vultures could kill a proposed $10 million housing project for low-income senior citizens being constructed here by the Diocese of Camden and the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, or HUD.

The 76-unit project, The Haven House at St. John of God, would be located on an open tract of land behind the church and would only serve people 62 and older with low incomes — $24,100 in a one-person household and $27,500 in a two-person household. The state contends the project would encroach on critical habitat for turkey vultures and other migratory birds.

The issue already has resulted in postponement of the Sept. 26 closing on the deal and the scheduled Nov. 16 groundbreaking for the project.

Forbes is urging his faithful to contact state DEP Commissioner Lisa Jackson and complain.

“This could up and vanish, where people won’t get housing just because of some animal. I’m no St. Francis of Assisi. I hate turkey buzzards,” Forbes said.

It’s church vs. state in Lower Twp. vulture war

While reading this, I was wondering if the bird was a vulture that evolved froma turkey, or a buzzard that preyed on turkeys. Turns out it’s the former–at least they look like turkeys. They don’t sound like good neighbors:

The Turkey Vulture is one of North America’s largest birds of prey. It reaches a length of 32 inches with a wing span of 6 feet. Its overall color is brown-black with a featherless, red head, white bill and yellow feet among mature adults. Immature birds have a darker face. Although usually silent, the bird will occasionally emit a soft hiss or groan.

In flight, the Turkey Vulture rocks from side to side, rarely flapping its wings which are held at a V-angle called a dihedral. Silver-gray flight feathers look lighter than the black lining feathers of the underwing. Its long tail extends beyond its legs and feet in flight.
Turkey Vulture

Vultures are best known for their practice of feeding on dead animal carcasses, but will occasionally attack young and helpless animals as well. They obtain much of their water from the moisture in carrion, and their powerful kidneys enable them to excrete less water when expelling waste products.

Photo and text courtsey of DesertUSA

According to DesertUSA, the bird is found throughout “most of North America.” So I don’t see how a small piece of land next to a church is such a crucial habitat.

I do like, though, that the vultures sometimes emit a soft hiss or groan–for some reason, a groaning vulture makes me laugh. What, he pulled his back doing heavy lifting or something? At least these guys won’t get kicked out of Planet Fitness for being too loud.

And remember, you don’t have to make any noise at all to enter the Roll the Bones giveaway contest.

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