For some reason, I get a “CityAtlantic” email newsletter. Usually, it’s just a bunch of shilling for whatever big events are coming up, but this issue has a real gem: an unsigned manifesto about one man’s aborted journey to greatness. From CityAtlantic.com:
Being overweight comes with a lot of baggage… and I’m not just talking about extra “junk in the trunk”. I shop at places named “Big and Tall” and I’m still hungry even after Super-Sizing. I might be loosing the Battle of the Bulge, but all that changed when I transformed my generic hunger into an appetite for victory. After weeks of talking about my eating prowess, I decided to put my mouth where my mouth was and compete in the Super Bowl of eating…Wing Bowl XIV. The following story is one man’s pursuit of a dream.
For those of you who might not be familiar with this event, it was started by the morning radio team at 610 WIP and has grown to be one of Philly’s most outrageous and popular events. So many people show up for this event that they literally have to turn away thousands of people. They even charged $5 admission this year and still drew over 20,000 people to the Wachovia Center.
Once inside, there are parade floats, marching bands, The Wingettes, beer and of course, lots and lots of wings. Just like the Olymipcs, you must first qualify to be a contestant in the Wing Bowl. You can qualify by winning one of the preliminary events or going on the air and impressing the judges with a feat of ravenous proportions. This year contestants have qualified by doing things such as eating; a loaf of white bread in 6 mins, 2 lbs. of gefilte fish in 5 mins, a pound of cookie dough in 4 mins or chugging a jar of bleu cheese in 3 mins. I decided my best chance of getting into Wing Bowl was to compete in a qualifyer. It would give me a chance to see how I stack up against the competition and acclimate me to the rigorous conditions of competitive eating.
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The Wing Bowl was created by the morning radio team of 610WIP as a service to the people of Philadelphia. Since the Eagles were rarely a Super Bowl contender, the people of Philly had nothing to look forward to around the time of the Super Bowl. Wing Bowl to the rescue.
Held on the Friday before the Super Bowl, Wing Bowl has grown to be one of Philly’s favorite annual events. The stories of the massive turnouts, early-morning beer drinking and impressive eating are now the stuff of urban legend in the area.
The year’s Wing Bowl was won by 22-year-old Joey Chestnut from San Jose, California. He took home a 2006 Suzuki Grand Vitara S Model, valued at $20,594; a ring from Steven Singer Jewelers, valued at $5,500; a commemorative medallion and the respect of the best eaters in the nation. Chestnut established a new record this year by eating 173 wings throughout the three rounds of competition.
A Wing Too Far
Click through to read the rest. If the link has expired, all you need to know is that he didn’t make either of two qualifiers, and jobbed to a guy named “Dr. Winglove” in his third qualifier.
Chugging a jar of bleu cheese dressing might be one of the most disgusting things I’ve read about this week, and I generally like bleu cheese. I’m amazed that they get 20,000 people paying to watch this.
And my readers who thought that the prose of Mr. “The ocean has nothing but time” was disappointing will have a field day with this un-named correspondent’s stylistic choices. The fun never ends.