Vegas is fat?

Men’s Fitness magazine did some kind of poll to determine what the fittest and fattest cities in America are. Because you’ve probably got a pretty much uniform distribution of physically fit and unfit people around the country, this seems like a fool’s errand to me, but it made headlines. From MSNBC, but it’s everywhere:

When an annual survey named Baltimore the fittest city in America, many Charm City residents had the same response: You gotta be kidding.

Sure, people here are known for eating lots of seafood, but are crab cakes and deep-fried lake trout the staples of a healthy diet?

“I think it’s probably the most mis-fit city in America,” said Charisse Bailey as she dug into a typical Baltimore lunch: fried red snapper on thick white bread, with a side of french fries and a beer.

America’s fittest city is…Baltimore?

The big local news here is that Las Vegas nearly triumphed in the struggle to become America’s fattest city this year, losing to Chicago. Here are the lists:

The fittest and fattest cities in America in the annual survey by Men’s Fitness magazine, with cities in order of ranking, and 2005 rankings in parentheses. An asterisk (*) denotes that last year’s ranking was on the opposite list:

Fittest:
1. Baltimore (25*)
2. Honolulu (2)
3. Virginia Beach, Va. (12)
4. Tucson, Ariz. (8)
5. Milwaukee (15)
6. Colorado Springs, Colo. (3)
7. San Francisco (4)
8. Seattle (1)
9. Louisville-Jefferson, Ky. (not ranked)
10. Boston (11)
11. Sacramento, Calif. (7)
12. Nashville-Davidson, Tenn. (25)
13. Albuquerque (10)
14. Tulsa, Okla. (22*)
15. Phoenix (12*)
16. Atlanta (23*)
17. Portland, Ore. (6)
18. Washington (23)
19. Oakland, Calif. (20)
20. Denver (5)
21. Minneapolis (13)
22. Arlington, Texas (22)
23. Austin, Texas (19)
24. Jacksonville, Fla. (18)
25. Omaha, Neb. (16)

Fattest:
1. Chicago (5)
2. Las Vegas (9)
3. Los Angeles (21*)
4. Dallas (6)
5. Houston (1)
6. Memphis, Tenn. (4)
7. Long Beach, Calif. (20)
8. El Paso, Texas (11)
9. Kansas City, Mo. (18)
10. Mesa, Ariz. (15)
11. Indianapolis (13)
12. San Antonio (10)
13. Fort Worth, Texas (14)
14. Miami (19)
15. Detroit (3)
16. Columbus, Ohio (16)
17. Oklahoma City (21)
18. Cleveland (24*)
19. Wichita, Kan. (17)
20. Charlotte, N.C. (24)
21. San Diego (9*)
22. Fresno, Calif. (14*)
23. Philadelphia (2)
24. San Jose, Calif. (17*)
25. New York (8)

Apparently, empty calories, lack of physical exercise, and extra pounds really do stay in Vegas.

In all honesty, this poll is probably as valid as the one a few years ago that declared Las Vegas one of the nation’s most literature-friendly cities. The rationale was that we have so many bookstores–apparently it didn’t matter that they were adult bookstores.

Check back Monday for more news you need. I’ve got a great post planned about a mysteriously sacreligious night of drunken debauchery that took place 300 years ago. I would have run it today, but I think this story should stand on its own.

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